I haven't been writing a lot lately. One of the reasons why is that the past week has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. Let me just say a test result for a family member came out clean but it was like hell up to that point. The other reason is I'm getting frustrated by the job search, apparently graduating from one of the best technical universities in Germany with a very good degree and tons of prior experience doesn't mean much. I certainly wasn't expecting it to take this long. You start questioning your worth after a while and it inevitably affects my mood.
I still play MWO daily and have a blast though. In fact; MWO, this blog and the awesome creative community is what's keeping me sane these days. I have been releasing a lot of videos lately (which are relatively easier to make compared to writing elaborate articles). I think I'll explore the video content side more (aside from making funny videos) with guides and reviews with my lovely voice. It's definitely a better way to reach more people because it seems like visual content is much more appealing than reading a wall of text nowadays.
As for the long articles, I need an "eureka!" moment for those, which hasn't happened a lot lately. This mostly due to me playing in the group queue with my unit rather than experimenting and doing silly stuff by myself in the solo queue. You can only do so much silly in the group queue. The matchmaker eventually starts throwing you really good enemies like SJR, 228 or EmP and you suddenly regret that you brought a Vindicator to a tryhard showdown. I also don't enjoy the solo queue much anymore after getting a taste of the group play. Moreover due to my group queue abuse, my Elo has been boosted so much that the matchmaker expects me to carry a lot. I obviously can't do that while playing with sub-optimal 'Mechs and loadouts. At this time dropping solo feels more like a punishment. I just want to be matched up with players with similar skill levels and experience (both enemy and friendly), but looks like that's not possible.
I'm aware that I stopped reviewing 'Mechs as well. The thing is I don't like to review 'Mechs too quickly. Playing them for 1-2 days and then preparing a hastily made review that boils down to "guys this sucks bad, don't bother" is just not my style. Even if the 'Mech is seemingly bad at a first glance, what if I could actually find something it's good at if I played it a bit more? What if it's just my playstyle not matching the capabilities of the 'Mech? These thoughts drive me to play them for extended periods (even for months) and I eventually lose interest and move on at which point doing a review becomes even harder. However these silly experiments during this period have the side-effect of allowing me to discover some really interesting gameplay styles or builds. Nevertheless, this "get intrigued, slowly lose interest" cycle has been putting me off from doing reviews for a while.
I expect to break this cycle with the Panther review though. Thanks to the donations of Bunny and Toto I could get this little beast and it's been surprising me a lot with its performance. Hopefully I'll have something by the end of next week.
Maybe I needed this break. March has been by far my most productive month with 20 articles and a couple of videos. I may have burned myself out a little in progress.
Whelp, there you have it. Taking advantage of this "bloggy" blog post, I would like to hear your feedback about this blog. Please feel free to comment on how you feel about the blog and what kind of content you like reading here.
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